Shit Happens!

It’s not an article. It’s outburst. It’s not a result of lengthy research. I never do that. Neither I reflect nor do I analyze. I speak what my mind echoes. And that goes precise, all the time. I don’t speak against system or anyone in personal. I speak against decisions. Those ruin lives. And, as accustomed, I don’t care about upshots.

CBSE. Or CBSC. Or whatever. I still don’t know what it is exactly. But it’s drivel. It’s introduced so that kids in our state can compete with kids of other states. So uncool. That’s the root of India as I said earlier, the race. But it speaks volume about or political ineptitude. These wise people need to understand that when India loses match against Australia, we change our strategies. Change the management sometimes. Plan hard, strive harder. But we don’t change the color of our jerseys to yellow. That’s it. Bringing in CBSE was sheer sign of our vulnerable determination.

And the fact of assigning this year the tag of ‘experiment’ is ridicule in point of fact. So we are not sure of our results and consequences but we want to move ahead. Great. Even a kid makes sure the key is winded before flaunting his fancy toys. The thing irritates a lot. That’s what all the parents think stamping our fates. That’s what makes us losers. That’s what takes away the life. The experiment.

Not that it is bad. It is wrong. Learning was possible without CBSE. Not that CBSE is beyond intellectual capability. It is overemphasized. It is overrated. It is mandatory. It’s like spending grands on dinner at five star and eating what waiter chooses for you. No priorities at all. No space for creativity. No space to think beyond and prove the potential. No space at all.

Moreover, very few people identify with the things taught. I personally don’t identify with any of the things. Neither I’m interesting in lying down new axioms for speed and velocity nor do I want to play with chemicals for rest of my life. I don’t wish to become a vet and thus have no concern for learning anatomy of lizards. I don’t know what this log table is and I don’t wish to know. It’s not I don’t want to learn. It’s not I’m against it. It’s I can’t do it. It’s beyond my capabilities. You may call me a loser and that’s it. But I don’t like this tag of inferiority. If you don’t like shirts with half sleeves you go for full sleeves. And the vice versa. Every small thing in life has got options but the thing that decides your fate for the entire lifetime hasn’t got any. Even if it has, they are insufficient and unsatisfactory. Knowledge is not the only thing required to survive. You ought to know the world, surpassing parameters laid by education. You ought to see the world beyond the vision of your parents and teachers. Not that they are wrong, but you’re doing it wrong if you don’t have a separate opinion. You should die.

Remove all the doctors/ engineers and India is a big hole. Hard to digest yet true. And that’s the true India. Led by creativity and backed with talent. Very few people try to become something else other than that. Not because they have lesser grades but because they have the stronger will. I’m not opposing the idea of becoming doctor, I’m laughing at the reason behind the idea of becoming a doctor.

Learning science is presently all about dealing with spits. Those with higher grades have to wipe the spits of other people and those with lesser grades have to lick. But spit is a spit after all. No using your brain and no reflecting your own ideas. You have to follow Newton and Einstein without any questions in your brain. If you have, kill it and rot the answers found by these great people. But don’t use your brain. Otherwise we’ll knock you out of the race. That’s the science college. The moment you join science is the moment your life gets a full stop. It’s the end. No beyond and nothing further. Worse, if don’t have little bit of Einstein in your genes. You’re dead. You’ll experience deathly pricks and pangs each moment. Dump your dreams and set your desires on fire. Just hope, you survive.

 

Cool Guy

  1. Never seen football. But, will wear man united jersey. Messi is the only player he knows. Ronaldo, Ronaldinho #sameguy for him.
  2. Never heard Metallica before. But first one to buy tickets of their concert. ‘Coolest thing ever’. Will go for concert and get surprised ‘Metallica is name of a band and not of a single lady like Maddona.’
  3. Will watch the first show of ‘Ice Age 4’. In Hindi.
  4. Never wears watch. Checks time in his cell phone.
  5. Doesn’t know Chetan Bhagat. But ‘The 3 mistakes of my life’ is his favorite.
  6. Will drive in Porsche. But print a vampires Logo on it. And ya, he is driving in Pors Key!
  7. Will wear MUFTI jeans. Below the waist. Obviously to show the French Jockeys.
  8. Will sign up for blogger. Post lyrics of Pink Floyd songs as a post and share it on facebook. Then send link to all girls in his friend list and say ‘Hey! Check out the cool poem written by me!’
  9. Will go to pubs. Try hard at wooing girls. But will see any random girl and say. ‘Oh shit! She’s my ex! Oh shit! She’s coming towards me! Oh shit! What will I do now! God please save me! Oh shit!’
  10. Will wear Che Guevara T shirts but will pretend and ask ‘Who is Anna Hazare?’
  11. Will never watch Star World. But say ‘How I met your mother is my favorite.’ Will watch CID all the time but say to his friends ‘DEXTER ka latest episode dekha kya? My god kya fucking tha!’ He knows his friends never watch it, hence.
  12. Will go to Juhu beach for a trip. Act like its Bondi beach.
  13. Will use internet slang in real conversation. Will pronounce ‘LOL’ as ‘Lawl’, ‘ROFL’ as ‘Roffle’ or the worst, ‘LMAO’ as’ Limeow’.
  14. Will have high end laptop. But will use it only for playing GTA and IGI. Occasionally, open PowerPoint and create cool banners of his name.
  15. Will buy iPad 3 and play Rohan Rathore’s ‘Tune mere jana’ on it. Will keep Salman Khan as wallpaper and Waka Waka as ringtone.

P.S- If anything written in the post offends or hurts your sentiments/feelings then please let us know. So that we can make more jokes on you.

Casual Outburst

Race. Sounds cool and interesting. Moral or immoral. Required or not. People in India will always be excited about it. Worse if you are a student. Your life is all about race. One more race. Some more races. And the end. They will make you run. It’s their innate right and they shall have it. India is your country and this all is mandatory.

It’s good. Running the race is first step towards feeling the exhilaration of victory. Yes. Run. But make sure you are going to win. Otherwise don’t. Stop where you are and let the crowd go ahead. Let them win. Let them shine. Let them lose. Let them fall.

Being loser. That’s the bad. We Indians suck at letting the things go. From money to virginity. Nothing goes off with ease. Everything sucks. But do it. Let few things go away. We love our pets. Not the smell of their shits.

People will call you loser. Okay. Their ass. Ours is a land of heroes. Everyone wants to be hero. Everyone wants to be best. Everyone tries to be best. Tries to convey they are best. Sounds cool but don’t fall for that shit. Be bad. Be mad. Be glad.

Try. Keep trying. Failure is first step towards success. No. These all are fucked up axioms laid by fucked up people. People who lost their senses. People who are always busy being practical. They never know what life is, in point of fact. Failure never leads you to success. Unless you’re trying to invent new law of gravity. So always remember. Be a winner. Back off if you think you can’t win. Stay quiet. Reflect. Analyze and PWN all other intellectuals.

Never follow the crowd. Never ask anyone for any advice. No one understands your potentials better than you. Just like you never ask the sales guy to choose the best color of briefs for you. You do it on your own. Sometimes you end up picking the wrong.  You regret it and avoid repeating that mistake. But you’ll never ask the sales guy to do that for you. Same way. Be stupid. Do stupid shit. Revamp it. But don’t seek advices.

In India, doctors and engineers steal away all the limelight. Sorry if you are one. But I’d never relate to these people. I’d never respect you for that sole reason. Get a life, I’d say instead. Being doctor just because all intelligent people are the same is not a sign of intelligence. You’re idiot. A kind of idiot who follows another idiot blindly.

Not that I always listen to my teachers. Not that I’m pointing out odds of someone. But my imaginary teacher always told me- Newton brought out the revolutionary change in field of Science but no one gave him money even to cut his hairs. Not that money is what life is all about. But yes. I need money. I want crazy lifestyle. I want pleasurable weekends. I want extravagant delights. I don’t want respect. I have self-respect. I care enough to follow my conscience all the time.

Okay. As I always say. You’re young. You can think. Do your own thing and don’t fall for anyone.