Yeh lamha Yeh doorie, Bas do pal ki majburi.

No matter what we are or what we do, it’s always our state of mind at the end of the day that determines us. What you achieved and what you earned is less important. ‘Did it feed the heart in you?’ is primary. And we all are let down by that one fact which differs each time. I don’t even have any time to reflect why it happens or what falls short. I try, I strive, I fail and I accept. It’s become a habit now. Grief is easy to express, hard to expect, harder to deal with. Especially when you are no less and still you are settled on compromises. Speaking unswervingly, I’m let down coz I love someone and that someone doesn’t. I’m let down coz I can’t match her standards. Maybe I can but someone else does better than me. It’s absurd for me and I can explicate that too but I don’t want to. I never point out odds in personal cases. That’s not my way. And real men don’t get provoked by boyfriends of their crush. They get drunk instead. I don’t do that but it’s spontaneous. It happens. We (losers like me) see it, stay unprovoked, let it go, put up with it and people call us wicked. We accept that too. We have no other option. Maybe we can deny the fact. But we are neither intended nor have any inclination to do that. It’s not that today is the day to dig in all this stuff. No. Today is just another day. And it’s all fools day too. I should be having fun at this time. I’m not. Strange.

This is one of the very few times when I tend to find the reason behind that gloomy feeling. I can’t think anything as my thoughts stop over her, but it leaves me with an answer. Though very unclear but whatever. Answer is my obsession for her. I forget that I just get carried away, each time, for no particular reason. I forget there is nothing beyond affable relations and dream of being together. She regales me with few moments but that’s it. It’s the end; where all the hopes and feelings die. It’s good they die rather than staying within and keep pricking. Its better they die thus living some ample space to ponder over other craps. But I disregard, hope is immortal; no matter how dark it is, a little vacuity and hope will bask in the pallid limelight of your thoughts. I really hurts no matter how strong you are. I’m not even strong. I nag behind, losing my self-respect. But I guess you should back off rather than dealing with your hatred. I will do that, now or later. I’m good at letting things go. Ours is a land of heroes and playing loser is pride, in disguise. All I can do is pray god to prove his existence and unite us.

Okay, leave it apart. You know you are screwed when you have to leave the madness apart. You know you are not okay when you get up and listen to music instead of getting hangover. Worse, when you identify yourselves with the lyrics. I stopped playing music in background while typing unruly words. Now, the only sound produced is of space bar key. Life is that eerie. Well, in the end, as I always say, I’m young and I can do better. I can hope, I can try and I can do. Well, let’s anticipate contentment. Till then, have fun. See you on the other side of madness, with not something, so lame and boring.

Generation next. Generation blatant.- III

This is a series. Read the earlier posts before moving on to this. You can read the first post here. You can read the second post here. Thank you.

Aaryan avoided Diya that day. He didn’t speak with her. ‘What was wrong?’ she wondered. She asked him. “I didn’t like it.” He said. “What? Sammy is friend. Just a friend. What’s wrong with you?” She replied. “Don’t know. But I surely do not like this.” He repeated. “Don’t you trust me?” She asked. He was numb. Things were stretched.

Is she right? She might be wrong. But I should trust her? Should Sammy be trusted? She is my wife. I should trust her. His mind was messed up. Like a jigsaw puzzle. More he thought, more complicated it got. Life is not that easy.

“Sorry for the last night. I trust you. I love you. More than anyone else could do.” He said and kissed her on forehead. She grinned. He left. He was happy. She smiled.

He reached the place he liked the most. The cricket ground. He had an important match that day. To everyone’s surprise, Sammy was included in the team. Vick was surprised. How can it happen? He thought. Aaryan sensed his uneasiness.

“I know what is bothering your mind. Don’t worry. Sammy is a good player.” Aaryan said. “I tell you, he is not to be trusted.” Vick replied. “Chill. He is a good man.” “Amen!”

The match started. Things favored them. Opposite team gave up at a very low score. But it was a game of uncertainties. Aaryan was bowled out for a duck. Another three of his men got out for the same score. Vick was still there, holding the hope. Sammy came on to bat. Two years of patience reflected his game. He felt a strong urge to whack every ball to the boundaries. He did so. They won. Vick and Sammy were the heroes. Sammy was awarded for his brilliant knock. Aaryan instructed them to have rest instead of celebrations as they had another match the next day.

“Hey! Congrats buddy. You nailed it completely. Let’s have a drink.” Vick said to Sammy. “Thank you but I’m not drinking.” Sammy replied. “Cheer up man. You deserve it. C’mon let yourself go.” The more reluctant Sammy was the more Vick forced him. Sip by sip he drank enough alcohol to lose his conscience. Vick was a smart ass. He wanted Sammy to get crapulent. He gave him some more alcohol. Strong. The truth was to be poured out.

“I have feelings for Diya. Deep feelings buddyyyyy…” He screamed. “Yo man! Diya is your stuff. Aaryan is a douche I tell and Diya! So hot man.” Vick agitated him. “Aaryan.. The man makes me uncomfortable. Bloody tyke.” He shouted at his loudest. A keeper knocked his door. “Aaryan sir instructed you to keep piece. Your voice is reaching other guest rooms.” The keeper said. “Let it reach. Tell that cock sucker I’m not gonna listen to him. Understand you moron.” Sammy said and pushed him. The keeper to got hyper. A clash took place. Vick witnessed it interestingly. Everyone hurried to the place as they heard a big noise. Sammy hurled the beer bottle at keeper injuring him badly. The keeper narrated the entire happenings. Vick added to whatever happened earlier and made the entire drama spicier. He told Aaryan that Sammy said he went extreme with Diya. Many a times. Aaryan was frustrated. He was uneasy. He was angry. He was reckless. He went straight way to his wife.

“Sorry. I’m sorry for whatever happened. I went wrong. Please forgive me.” Diya said. Vick was surprised. She really went extreme with him. Aaryan was broke. He cried. He cussed himself. He hated himself for trusting Diya.

Goodness lost the battle with cruelty. Aaryan thought, he was Othello. She was Desdemona. But he didn’t know Vick was the Shakespeare.

 

The Scramble- II

Part II/III. This is a series, read my first post before moving on to this. You can check it here.

The tour was ensuing as expected. Things were going good. They both got well along. Their relationship fostered with plenty of love and camaraderie to blend in. Aaryan introduced her to all his mates. After all, he was proud of his spouse. Diya too was a kind girl and soon got be friends with them. Sammy, Aaryan’s alter ego. They both would never do without each other. May it be their practice sessions or just vagabonding around the city, they needed each other. Sammy was still trying his guts to get into the team. He was chosen, but the troop was packed. He had no place there and hence had to warm the benches for years. Meanwhile, Aaryan continued with his impressive cricket and soon became an important part of the team- the skipper.

Everything was perfect in Aaryan’s life. He got all that he desired. A great cricket career, extravagant lifestyle and a hot life partner, loyal too. Diya too was happy at the way her life blended. A caring husband and yes, a hero, what else did she desire?

Sammy would take her on a stroll around the city as he had visited it before. She too, as a mere pass time, accompanied him when Aaryan was busy in his games. Sammy was generous and kind hearted and treated her like his best buddy. Diya too liked being with Sammy as he was a great entertainer. His puns impressed her. The friendship grew, along with the pressure that started mounting on Aaryan as his side lost three consecutive games. Criticism flooded in through country and Aaryan, the skipper was held responsible for it. It made him lose his concentration. A couple of bad scores were added to his stats as he ended throwing his wicket on bad deliveries. His side ended up with a white wash and the idea of new team rooted in. The bad performers were to be axed. Fingers were crossed. Aaryan, being an outstanding player was given another chance despite his failure.

The decision made Vick lose his temper. He was disappointed at selector’s preferring Aaryan as a captain, overlooking his good performance. He was so not happy. He wanted Aaryan to be prosecuted at any cost. But, he was not entertained. He was given an ultimatum; play under his captaincy or bugger off. Vick was not meant to be silent. He was in search of fuel that would ignite a spark. He would then pour out his rage in that spark and set fire to everyone’s dream. He thought of a plan.

“You deserved place in the team buddy. I had lots of things in mind but as of now, I’ve no authority. My road is blocked but you still have hopes. I heard you’re in great terms with Aaryan’s chick, persuade her and you’re in the team.” Vick said, to Sammy. Vick was sure; Sammy would fall to his words and end up doing a stupid act. Sammy followed Vick’s instructions and pleased the wicked sire.

“I would rather die than not helping my best friend. I shall go straight away to Aaryan and beg him to include you in the team” Diya said, Sammy felt ecstatic. The joy of dreams coming true is altogether a different one.

She spoke to Aaryan about Sammy in so pleasant and pretty manner that Aaryan could not stop her. When she finished, Aaryan said that it was wrong to include Sammy in team just because he was a close friend. He also added that Sammy’s stats were so less impressive than other contemporaries to make it to the national team. However, Diya begged her husband to include him in the team in next match, or the next series at least. She told how hard working Sammy was. “He needs to do more to deserve what he desire. He’s my friend and I know how hard he is striving to put on the blue jersey.” Aaryan said. Aaryan was not convinced, in spite of her sweet words. Diya was very surprised that she had to beg so much for Aaryan to comprise Sammy who was so close to her.

Aaryan had a great match next day. A terrific win and a glorious ton to complement that. Yet again, a match that was lost in horizons of defeat was brought back by Aaryan. This time, with a little bit of help from Vick. Vick was the man who supported Aaryan till the end. Aaryan was impressed by Vick and called him for dinner at his place. Vick willingly accepted the proposal and soon prepared for a thrilling evening. Both of them went together at Aaryan’s house after celebrating the victory with other mates. When they reached there, they saw Sammy bidding good bye to Diya. Sammy waved hands at Aaryan and went. “I do not like this.” Vick whispered, loud enough for Aaryan to hear. Aaryan didn’t say anything. They all had dinner in sheer silence. Aaryan instructed Vick to be on ground early next morning.

Vick got up early next day and headed straight way towards ground. Aaryan was already there, he was not pleased with the delay. They had good time in nets, they hit the ball in right areas and managed to get their mojos back. Aaryan was pleased by performances of his mates. “Can we have a coffee together?” Vick asked Aaryan after their session was done. “Umm, okay sure.” Aaryan replied. Vick was a wise man. He had already influenced Sammy about the greatness of a local café, and in turn, to take Diya there so that she is impressed. He took Aaryan at the same café and about same time. Aaryan, as obvious was shocked to see Diya and Sammy.

“Sammy is not to be trusted.” Vick uttered. Aaryan was disappointed. The situation also made Aaryan remember Vick’s whispered words- ‘I do not like this’- when they saw Sammy bidding good bye to Diya. That put Aaryan in a deep mental trouble.

The Mating- I

Part I/III

Diya, a sweet coquettish and a poison of her alma mater. In her thirties, she looked no less than the young lasses whom she taught. Equally attractive and tempting. Her dad was a prominent industrialist of the city. Living in a community dominated by businessmen he arranged meetups with lads of his contemporaries to put forth her marriage gizmo. But she had something else in her mind. She was never keen to marry rich-young-perfect guys. Instead she dreamt for a hero; a hero on his own.

Aaryan, the hero. A dark tall guy; university champion who bagged the best athlete award almost every year. He was the captain of State Cricket Team and on the final edge of making his way into the National Team. Things got big for him; he was selected for a Carrebian tour where he got to prove his potential. He played some good innings there and made people notice him. He gleamed as a new pin-up hero of the most popular sport in the country. He achieved acme of success. A big fan following and the never-ending attention was what made him hero of his college. A geek turned stud; the stud whom all girls wished to bite.

He loved basking in sunny limelight of his success. He would woo stupid girls and have some good time with them. He would narrate them his heroics as a cricketer and obviously no girl was left unimpressed. Diya was one of them. “You can date your hot teachers” was one of the advantages of being a cricketer; barring heaps of notes with RBI imprints that keep coming in.

“It was the third game in the series of five. Having lost all previous ones, victory was the only way. Mack, the skipper of opposite team won the toss and instructed his openers to tighten their gloves. He chose to bat first and managed putting a big sum on it. India almost lost it, with couple of early dismissals, the line up continued to bundle up. A debutant on crease with a bowler, barely able to bat; victory seemed too unclear. Ball by ball, breathe by breathe, runs got adding in. I managed to stay till last. Last ball, six runs needed and wild swing of my bat. The ball landed in audience and a crowd of millions ranted my name. I was God that day.” He would tell and girls would get impressed. Diya was not an exception. Soon they got to be friends, met at cafes, restaurants and last at night clubs. Chemistry was fully cooked and the time came for one of them to take the initiative. Sensing it, Diya proceeded.

“You’re hero, a type of hero whom I can’t say ‘NO’; no matter what he demands.” She said.

Sensing rightly what she meant, he decided to express his love for her. He did it, she accepted it. A decision waited to be passed by the father whose mind kept changing sides.

“My life belongs to my lover and my knowledge to my father.” Diya said. “I love my man a bit more than I love my dad. It’s difficult for a girl to do that, but after all my mother too did the same. She left her father to be with you.” Diya explained.

A father was speechless. Was it a daughter’s intelligence or dad’s carelessness in taming his daughter? The questioned narked his intelligence.

Love was taken up to next level, the marriage. It was too early to make a decision that early but love had all that ability to clear up hurdles in their way. They got very few days to live in a different equation as the team needed him. He flied to Australia for next contest. She too preferred accompanying her hubby than enjoying the concept of marriage.